The bathroom light clicks on and Chase examines himself closely in the mirror, staring into his puffy eyes.  He sits back, lifts his shirt and flexes his abs before lowering it in disgust.

                “Time for breakfast!” his mother calls from the other room.  “C’mon, Chase, you’re going to be late!”

                His five-year-old sister, Ashland, is eating her breakfast as Chase slings his backpack onto the floor and takes a seat.  The aroma of oatmeal and warm brown sugar fill his nostrils and Sean’s cell phone begins to ring.  The bowl comes sliding across the table to an abrupt halt in front of him.  “Sean McConnell here,” she pleasantly answers before glancing at the children and quickly ducks around the corner.

                “I love mommy more than you do,” Ashton states matter-of-factly.

                “You do not,” Chase argues, “I love her a trillion times, and you don’t even know what a trillion is.”  He shoves oatmeal into his mouth before smiling, oozing oatmeal between his teeth.

                “I love her more than anything,” she retorts, “a trillion times.”

                “Yeah?” he swallows before continuing, “Do you love her more than a giant chocolate sundae with candy sprinkles and a cherry on top?”

                Ashton gives this question serious contemplation, “Um, that would be an even balance.”

                “You know, Ashton, I’m getting a little too old for arguments like this.”

                “Sure, you’re finally ten,” there’s a tinge of sarcasm to her voice, “and suddenly you think you own the world!”

                From the other room the children hear their mother scream as if someone hit her in the stomach.  “Forget it! I’ll never let you do that, never!”

             

                Ian Andres makes an entrance wherever he goes, and the office is no exception.  His precise hairstyle, Armani tailored suits, and gleaming Testoni shoes, are mere glimpses of his supremacy while his red power ties steal the show. He hurries at a quickening gait up the hallway with a frantic secretary scribbling away at a pad while he speaks.  “… and tell Mr. Warden if he cannot make it this time, he’ll need to find someone else to verify his security.  My schedule is full and I do not have the time to continue rescheduling.  Healthcare, and the security of it, is a sphere in-demand.”

                “Yes, Mr. Andres,” she flips the paper over without raising her eyes, “I’ll make sure to tell him.”

                When Ian arrives at his office, he stops for a moment to grab the attention of his timid secretary, allowing her to know he will be entering alone, before he closes the door behind him.  The large and ornate cherry wood desk at the back of the room has a black phone with a red light blinking on it.  “Great,” he mumbles as he hesitantly picks it up and dials.  The tan color in his face almost seems to drain pale white as he sets the receiver down and plops into his black leather chair.  The city stretches out behind him through the generously large window of tinted glass.

                “Incredible choice in women I seem to have.” 

                The phone call he makes after brings his secretary into his office within seconds.  “I need you to take a letter and send it out immediately concerning a change in custody of my daughter.  I am unaware of the address, but I’m certain you can find it and mail this today.”

                “Sir, you have a daughter?”

                Glaring at her for a brief moment, he composes himself, “Yes, she’s five.  Unfortunately, the woman who has her now is a money-hungry psycho who will stop at nothing to drain me dry, but that’s neither here nor there–this is where the buck stops.”

     

             The rain is hammering down in sheets as Sean desperately pulls her jacket over her head to drape the front of the shopping cart and her toddler inside.  Her fourth-grade son’s hand is gripping her shirt as he stumbles, catching himself before he falls into the cart, head-on.  She fumbles for the keys in her purse as her daughter cries, stretching for the car door from the front of the cart.  The boy tries to coddle his little sister as Sean locates the key and pushes the button to unlock the doors, but when she reaches for the handle, the door will not open.  Quickly she again pushes the button and this time the door opens at her touch.  Sean pushes her two children into the car before unloading the groceries into the trunk.

                “Whew,” she breathes as she gets into the car, pulling her dripping hair in bits from her face, “Guess I was unprepared for that surprise!”

                Placing the key in the ignition switch, she gasps, “Chase, did you get Ashton strapped so we can go?”  Without a response, she glances into the mirror and sees a pair of eyes gleaming from the backseat, but they don’t belong to Chase, and they aren’t Ashton’s.  They belong to a man–a man Sean recognizes.  She begins to scream.

Have you ever noticed how many commercials there are for medications on television?  Doctors can prescribe things to ensure you stay thinner, be smarter, stay awake longer, sleep better, maintain relaxation, and even have a better and more fulfilling sex life, all on a temporary pass which costs X dollars/month.  Why is this so, and does it coincide with the Hippocratic Oath?

While being pregnant, a car accident shifted my spine which has continually become more and more painful over the course of the last five years.  Recently a doctor informed me that with a procedure that costs roughly $1200, I could again blend into society and participate in activities with my children as they grow.  The injection is procedure Dr. Daniel Sperry informed me of numbs the nerves and allows the body to partake in events without the pain, but it doesn’t stop the damage from deteriorating the muscles, bones and nerves.  This modus operandi is a lot less costly in the short-run, every few months, than the surgeries which I was told were necessary, which would need to be repeated in approximately 8 – 10 years at over $200,000 per procedure.

Regardless of this being a temporary fix, I knew I would have the flexibility and strength of a seventy-year-old at the age of fifty-five.  But a temporary fix is better than no fix at all, right?  The analyzing doctor handed me the paperwork containing the facts of the protocol, then patted me on the back before he gave me a card with a name and number on it.  Admitting I could not afford the surgery, and having no insurance, I was relieved to hear from him that I had no need to worry because here is someone who was going to help from social services.  I cried with relief as I boarded the elevator, and leaned against the wall for support as I rose to the main level.  I couldn’t wait to tell my kids and begin making plans of all the things we would be able to do.

The phone call was returned and I couldn’t schedule the appointment soon enough.  My smile beamed from ear to ear and I told her everything she asked of me, as she busily scribbled notes of where the accident happened, what the symptoms were, how long they’ve been a concern and the extent of my limitations.  The worker also wanted to know all of my financial status, bills owed, funds in the bank (as well as account numbers), and the names and numbers of all the places I had resided in the past five years.  Some of the questions seemed off the subject, but I was anxious to get started. 

The appointment was nearly forty-five minutes and as the discussion moved on, my smile faded as I realized what a chunk of life I had missed.  The robotic tone which she repeated my responses did little more than reiterate my misery as she continued to scratch away.  Finally, she had me sign on the line and with a smile she assured me everything would be taken care of  from here.  I expressed to her how excited I was, but the sadness of my present reality which I’d worked so hard to hide was ebbing in.  It had been quite some time since I’d entertained the thoughts of doing some of the activities she had rattled off.  I turned the radio in the car onto a station which played jovial music and thought to myself that this was to be my final year in pain.  Soon I would be better and working with the rest of the people, perhaps even complete my university degree.  And more importantly, I’d be the mother I’d always dreamed of being, not the cripple who had to have her nine-year-old son carry the gallons of milk into the house and her five-year-old daughter hand her shoes to her from the floor.  I would be the mother I saw in the magazines of the doctor’s office, the ones who carried their children on their shoulders and hunkered down to gaze at ladybugs in the garden.  I would take them to amusement parks and actually ride with them, instead of their wave from the line as they bounced up and down with a giggle.

Between November 18 and the end of the 2011 year, my body had collapsed twice and I’d been in to see various doctors–once in the wee morning hours, kids in tow, and another by ambulance (one visit’s cost was nearly the cost of the treatment: $1,007.74) from a plethora of facilities in search of an answer for excruciating pain.  Dr. Richard Ingebretsen, for the social security benefits office,  saw me in order to verify my ailment and required me to jump and hop.  Fool that I was, I complied with everything he asked to the best of my avail, so as not to appear as a whining ninny.  This visit was the culprit of the horrific events which followed for the remainder of the year.  Meanwhile the visit with mechanical Mary Poppins at MacKay-Dee Hospital, who submitted paperwork for the injection procedure resulted in a piece of paper sent to me from the Medicaid Office.  Medicaid granted me payment for the month of October; one month prior to social security’s exam.  The customer service representative on the other end of the phone from Medicaid assured me that everything was processed correctly and that since my daughter was five she was still covered, regardless of her father’s insurance coverage.  He didn’t know why I was approved in October alone, with the income consistent throughout the entire year.  Of course the results of Dr. Ingebretsen stated I was as healthy as a horse and he could find nothing unusual in my state of being.

The doctor who had referenced me to the medical procedure told me he could only tell me what was available, but had no say over the financial end.  I understood that; he’s a doctor, not a loan officer.  He could tell me what was wrong but could do nothing to help me without proper payment, other than prescribe hydrocodone, ibuprofen and flexeril–without refills.

Albeit short-lived, the course of action would have given a temporary lease on life and surgery may have fixed me.  The impression is a village of people who heard a shepherd remark he had noticed a trickle of water which escaped through a hole in the dam’s wall.  Sure, it could have been patched easily had someone stepped up with a bucket of mortar and a trowel, but to talk about how the job clearly belonged to someone else was much easier.  Meanwhile the hole got bigger, the water leaked more and the shepherd was in fear of his flock which grazed in the fields below it.  Panicking, he begged, pleaded, and jumped around with his arms high above his head, but everyone else was busy.  Someone had to build the houses.  Someone had to build the shops, churches, post office buildings, and schools.  After all, there’s money to be made here and charity was someone else’s responsibility while they made their money .  But when the dam broke, much more extensive damage had been done to the village than a few sheep lost of someone else.

Isn’t this what has become of our medical field?  Insurance companies pay a higher dollar-for-dollar amount to hospitals and doctor’s offices than when people pay cash for the identical procedure.  But when it comes to the Hippocratic Oath, I believe that as Americans we’ve learned to cut corners everywhere that seems appropriate to us, as individuals, and not our people as a whole.  We no longer respect our elders or the laws which have been passed by them because times have changed and they no longer serve our purpose.  The weak shall waiver and the strong shall inherit the earth, hand over fist, dollar for dollar.  There will always be someone bigger, stronger, and more intelligent to replace the old model.  There is no Hippocratic Oath other than a chanting of syllables subsequent to having the title earned of “Doctor.”

For those who are not privy to the Hippocratic Oath, before idealization, here it is;

“A widely used modern version of the traditional oath was penned in 1964 by Dr. Louis Lasagna, former Principal of the Sackler School of Graduate Biomedical Sciences and Academic Dean of the School of Medicine at Tufts University:[8]

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon’s knife or the chemist’s drug.

I will not be ashamed to say “I know not”, nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient’s recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given to me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person’s family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.”

 
 

Oddly enough, there is no mention of money, however this does state that “prevention is preferable to cure,” but does the government agree?  This means that in order to prevent the gap from devastating the entire village, one crew must traverse the wall to repair the flaw in a fragment of time. 

One  person can change the history of the country, or even the world, and anyone who does not believe this is true needs to read more about Hitler, Napoleon, Martin Luther KingJoan of Arc, or anyone else who has left a stamp on the planet.  This includes you, me, who we vote into congressional office, as well as state officials, and the laws we allow to pass that will effect our parents, loved ones, and children.  We have the say in this country, as that is what the Constitutional Rights are about.

While people may ask themselves what right do I have to sit and complain while I vicariously live off of my children’s child support, I say to you that I worked for many years, at 70 hours a week before I had my children.  I would love to again play a societal role and set an example for them so they too can contribute to their own well-being and participate in savings, stocks and revenue as they deserve.  I am worthy of medical care in order to provide for my children, as do so many other Americans who have worked hard, long hours to create a future for their country and their own families.  We deserve real medical attention because we are real people of this country and we have contributed to its monetary power.  We have earned the right to be made well so we can provide for our families, and the right to be the next Amelia Earhart or Thomas Edison, or perhaps the surgeon to save your loved one’s life.

You’ve been invited along to witness for yourself, a faithless woman moving from no belief in God to entrusting Him with everything she is and wants to become.  The journey is not short-lived and is not without stumbling, falling, and sometimes crying aloud; but more importantly, learning.  Although everyone makes mistakes, not everyone has the capacity to learn from them.  I like to think that I do, but sometimes I wish I would learn a little quicker!  I’m certain you can concure.  My children and I have traversed difficult times, times that not everyone can endure, and times that most of you will never have to; but some of you will, like it or not.  Being homeless is not something anyone I know of dreams to become, but how close are you now?  If you got in an accident preventing you from working or an important source of income was shorter lived than anticipated, would you do okay?  I certainly hope so!

Dave Ramsey gives the seven necessary steps to financial freedom; $1,000 in emergency ($500 is income is less than $20,000/yr), utilize “snowball effect” by paying off everything but the house, three-six months expenses in savings, 15% of income into IRA’s and pre-tax retirement, college fund, pay off the house, and finally build wealth and GIVE!  Every bit of this advice is great, unless you lose your job.  That’s why it’s important to start now.  Not having the resources at the time did not prevent me from learning about the proper way to divide money when it is available.  The next part is rebuilding myself by taking all the negative comments and experiences to replenishing myself inside and out.

I did not believe in God, but was reintroduced about two years ago by a wonderful community entitled Southeast Christian Church in Salt Lake City.  That was a whirlwind of experience which gave me my legs back.  However, being human as I am, I was still not perfect!  I had learned that some people truly are genuinely concerned and helpful, but I had more learning to do.

Because I retain my believe in God and ensure my children believe in a higher power, we found an incredible place to live at nearly 1/3 of the price of the place we were housed in.  The funniest thing about that is that had I known about this place then, we would have gladly and happily lived here and been just as comfortable.  Instead, we located and were able to move into this place a week before Christmas!  What a true blessing it is. 

Last night, we went to Christmas Village in Ogden and WHEW! WAS IT COLD!  We began waiting to see Santa and the line scarcely moved after half an hour.  After feeling a bit of frostbite on my derrier and backs of my knees, my back was killing me!  My daughter announced she was freezing and we needed to leave–FINALLY! 

When we got to the car, it was silent for a bit while I turned the engine over and breathed loudly into cupped and gloveless hands.  I peeked over the top at the two cherry-faced kids in the back.  “Isn’t it great to have a car to get into on a night like this?” I asked.  The concern was evident on my son’s face as reality soaked in.

“I can’t imagine having nowhere to go when it’s this cold!” he said.

“Think of the people at Christmas who have nowhere to go,” I said.  The thought was clearly circulating through their minds as I watched.  I wondered how some people did it, as I know they do.  “It could happen to anyone.”

As I watched my daughter sleep in my bed last night, I thanked God aloud in a prayer, that I was able to be spared such a treacherous decision.  If you don’t need to make a decision like this tonight, you probably ought to thank God, too.

Finally found a way to put my skills and talents to work, without hurting my already injured back!  Of course, it’s free of charge, but I’m hoping it helps someone who really needs it.  I’ve been struggling to be a motivational speaker, as you may know, for about two years, even offering to do it for free.  This is with the projection of being recognized and asked to begin working  for someone.

At the shelter where we currently reside, we’ve been fortunate enough to meet Alex and Connie.  They are an older couple who had an idea without a plan.  Their idea?  To create a project for homeless families to not only put a temporary roof over their heads, but give them training to prevent them from revisiting shelters, and prospering in society within a year.

The title of it is “The ARK: Alecon Recovery Kokua.”  The first word is a combination of their given names and the last is Hawaiian for “help,” as Alex is Hawaiian.  The program is not easy to be accepted into as life isn’t typically made of shortcuts, but those accepted will appreciate their acceptance for what they will learn, and from what is expected of them in order to form new habits of independence.  The name came to me one morning as my eyes popped open in the early morning hours, as so many messages have in the past.

The presentation I created in a day brought all but a few people to tears in a room holding more than a hundred, including the mayor of Ogden.  He was so inspired that he booked the presentation for a $100/plate dinner less than a week later.  That dinner was last night.  Although I was unable to attend, as I had to teach my children their online classes last night, as the occurrence was relayed to me Connie’s voice was shaking and tears were rolling down her face at the success.  In addition to the presentation, I’ve created everything from the structure of the program with input from Alex to the business cards.  My title?  Not sure what that would be other than a consultant…although I am really tackling several jobs.  Pay doesn’t always come in dollars and cents.

So comes the time that I thank God for putting me in these awkward situations to further me later.  The end is not always clear as we progress through life’s trials, but we must put our trust in God and be patient, to see the revelation when the time is correct.

God Bless YOU for helping someone this holiday season.  In Spanish the word “Christmas” simply means “more Christ,” which is what He has done—helped each of us, and we need to exercise this knowledge in the name of Christ.  Some feel the word is derived from “Christ Mass.”  But where the title came from doesn’t matter, as the results should be the same.  Our acts of kindness should always be present, not only at celebrations.  Blessed be His name—amen.

In the bible, 1 Kings 3:25,  there is a story of  King Solomon commanding a soldier to divide a baby in half because of the two women fighting over who the real mother is.  This story may be ancient, however the lesson stands at attention.

Even though we went to court and I brought to light how I left his bed to drive myself to the hospital, how he waited a day to see his daughter, Judge Michelle Tack stated that Dan’s two counts of sexual child abuse with two little girls did not apply to his daughter, therefore she would not consider them.  She went on to state that even though I could not access the military records to reveal his dishonorable discharge, she could not look them up because that would be acting partial in a court of law.  She granted the pedophile’s visitation with his five-year-old daughter.

My brother came to support me, but since there was no school that day, he wound up watching the kids just outside the courtroom door.  I was in the large room, feeling backed into a corner, with looming shadows all around.  What’s next? 

Not unlike the mother in the story of King Solomon, I will be relinquishing what the fight was over.  My daughter is so much more important than support.  In order to protect her from him, I must relinquish her monetary gain to preserve her life and have him relinquish his rights as a father. 

He shall have a very Merry Christmas after all–$8,700 a year should do it.  And my daughter will live.

 

Yesterday was Saturday and Cameron wanted desperately to visit his friend in Riverton.  Although the trip was quite a distance, the rest of his life has been so disrupted that I realized I needed to do whatever possible to bring some sort of normalcy back.  He visited his friend and our journey ended up costing us dinner.  The shelter serves for half an hour each day; breakfast at 8:00 (but the kids eat at school), lunch at 11:30, and dinner at 5:00—all for half an hour.  By the time we would have returned it would have been after 6:00 p.m., so we needed to eat.  Food stamps do not allow food which has been cooked to be purchased, and since we had no means of cooking (despite cooking on the engine—thanks, but no), our choices were chips and sandwiches.  We had eaten cold Lunchables at lunchtime, but Nikki had a difficult time with her cold chicken nuggets. 

At the checkout, we had a loaf of bread, a package of ham and three drinks.  “Would you like to donate to the homeless shelter?” the cashier asked politely.

“No thanks,” I told her, “We are.”  I pulled out my food stamp card and completed the purchase.

She was quite polite and leaned forward, whispering. “I was homeless once for four months with five kids,” she confided, “The shelter tried and tried to find us a place, but no one wanted anyone with so many kids.”  That gave me serious food for thought as I thanked her and we made our way to the car.

By the illumination of the street lights in the parking lot we got into the car.  A coat of snow had already wrapped itself around our vehicle and it was cold and dark inside.  I started the car up and peered out my side window at a spot which had fallen when I closed the door.  In the vehicle next to us was a man with his seat reclined all the way back, his hands folded across his stomach, “catching some z’s” as Papa Greenway used to say. 

I got the bread out, threw some meat onto it and passed the sandwiches throughout the car.  “Let’s have prayer,” I began as I bowed my head and began to thank the Lord for what we had.  I thanked God that we had a place to sleep, and they turned on the heat this weekend so that was extra nice.  Even though the food is suspicious at times, we have the choice of eating it.  We have a car, with fuel in it to take us where we need to go.  We have so many trips back and forth to Salt Lake City, which brings us back to court.  For someone without a criminal record or a degree in law, I find myself there more than anyone else I know!  Within the 8 days I will have traveled to Salt Lake City twice for court between the two fathers, three times for court documentation pertaining to social security, and once for a medical evaluation on my back.

My children are my life, as I’ve said before, and without my children I have no life.  Because of this, I will do anything necessary for their well-being.  My situation is short-lived—given that, the choice between this disruption and living with a convicted pedophile seems to be worth not mentioning.  So for now I will continue on, taking one breath at a time and hugging my children for all they’re worth—which is an awful lot!

We all love our children and no one would ever wish for the loved child to be in a homeless shelter.  But how many of us could continue living if our children were taken away?  No one this author understands.  Some may think there’s no greater sin than keeping a child when there is no way to provide shelter, but what if the option was a convicted pedophile?

In this story, unfortunately true, you’ll have the opportunity to see the dangers.  I date a man for about six months and we begin the discussion of marriage.  He states that while he was in the Air Force, he was discharged for pedophilia with two young girls.  Finding out this information certainly has a dampening effect on the embers of love, but people change all the time.  Beside we cannot wholly commit until his sons have graduated from high school because of his involvement with them, their mother, and the hockey team he coaches them on.  I have got time to decide, besides true love can afford to wait. 

Upon mentioning the possibility of becoming pregnant if they use no precautions, he responds that “whatever  happens happens–it’s up to God.”  On discussing birth control because it will take a couple of years to become fertile again, I’m in my late 30′s, I tell him my concern.  He tells me to leave it in God’s hands.  After a period, pregnancy occurs, and although I’m ecstatic, his plans are interrupted.

The man, Dan Anderson, decides he doesn’t want a baby and that I should have an abortion.  Arguing, I tell him that we had discussed before that it was not an option.  So we wait… I wait for him to see the ultrasounds, feel the movement and change his mind.  He waits for me to become disenchanted and give the little girl up.  In honest search, I contact several agencies for adoption, but hang up crying time after time.

A car accident, when 6 months pregnant, manages to avert it’s attention away from my little girl and uses the my spine to protect her.  Numerous visits ensue to prevent early delivery until the scheduled date of July 24th.  I awoke to leave Dan’s bed and drive myself to the hospital for the delivery of my daughter because he’s tired and isn’t finished sleeping.

Two days later, the baby lay lengthwise, within the crevass of his thighs while he silently stares at my daughter’s face.  When he finishes, he replaces the baby and stands.  “I’ve decided to name her Danika Aspen,” I begin in a final effort to spark interest.  “Since your name is Dan K. Anderson, it seems fitting.  Her middle name is after the aspen trees; flexible yet very durable.”

A bit of silence before I continue, ”I wish you had wanted to help with her name too.”

“Actually, I like the name Megan,” he suddenly responds, “We should name her that instead of after a tree.”

“I like what the tree signifies, but she can have two middle names if you’d like.”  We finally agree and name her Danika Megan Aspen Brewer. 

With two herniated disks and the rupture of a disk from the car accident, commencing copulation soon screetches to a halt and Dan becomes disgruntled and states as much.  He wants nothing more to do with a useless girlfriend, her son, or his new daughter.  “Besides,” he states, “all I need is for her to start spouting off lies when I help her go to the bathroom and get me into trouble again.”  Becoming uneasy, I state that when he wants to visit, I need to be present.  Dan agrees that would be best, for his own protection.

 Danika, whose friends and family refer to as “Nikki”, is five now.  Twice in a year, Dan sees his daughter; once for five minutes at Mimi’s Restaurant where we all ate with Grandma for Christmas, and again on her birthday seven months later. He claims he cannot visit her more, due to commitments.

Meanwhile Nikki seems to want to adopt her brother’s father; the man who comes bi-weekly, like clock-work, to spend time with his son and do numerous activities with him.  In fact, quite often she is the first to answer the door when he arrives–a smile spreads across her face.

Suddenly, everything goes awry and plans fall through, leaving me in a quandry, but for now I must provide them with the basic necessities to survive; a place to sleep, food and clothing. I find a shelter in order to await the increase in child support to take affect, as well as catch up the arrears from Dan. I have given up on the idea that Social Security will come through and am desperately searching for a job that I can perform. Dan is livid!

This is a baby he didn’t even want in the first place. He takes notice it isn’t his fault I’m not working. He still pays $800/month in alimony, more for child support with his ex, and is carrying the finances of a son on a mission. There’s simply not enough money for Danika, according to him, and she’s lucky to get anything at all. He feels he’s been duped.

After checking the mail, I discover a curious letter from an attorney–Dan’s attorney–which states court is in session November 23rd at 9:00 a.m. in regard to Dan receiving the custodial rights to Nikki.
Anyone who is a concerned citizen is encouraged to assist in media letters to ensure MY beautiful daughter is not placed directly into the hands of a convicted pedophile. Even on a temporary basis, it will be impossible to get her back–damage which could never be undone.

Please pray for us.

 

Have you ever sat down and began thinking of the experiences you have had in your life?  Ever tried to pinpoint just one as the most exciting?  What would you do if there was a contest asking you to depict the most incredible event you’ve seen someone else do?  For the next week you’d be watching others more than you pay attention to yourself, wouldn’t you?

We all get so wrapped up in what we think is right, or what we think is fair, that seldom times do we ever stop to think about what someone else’s reasoning behind what they do is.  Does that seem fair to you?  You would be able to really stop and look at a homeless person differently, asking yourself if there had ever been anything she’d done valiantly? Did she have a child she drove to school each morning, but one day she dropped her cellphone and the car rolled back in the driveway, running over her child, killing him instantly?  Was she feeling so awful she wanted to die, but somehow managed to live?  Did it cause her to guilt herself into unemployment, divorce, and hatred toward herself–even homelessness and alcoholism, begging for a dollar from passersby?  And what if one day she realized that despite the accident being a horrific ordeal, never to be relived and done again,  it was an accident.  She arises one morning and finds she can help other parents cope with the loss of a child.  Wouldn’t someone like that be an incredible miracle?

Do yourself a favor!  The next time you’re caught in traffic, glance over the people around you and imagine what amazing things a particular person may have done in a lifetime.  Has it been something that has had an affect on you and you didn’t even know it? When you’re in line behind someone at the supermarket who doesn’t have enough change, have you bothered to pay the difference so she can take the milk home to her hungry children?

If someone offered you $1M for each of the good you’ve done in your life, but took $1M for each time you were self-indulgent, what would you have in the end?  Would you be too ashamed to talk about it, or would you be able to hold your head up with your face turned toward the heavens? 

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